Stoneage Stomp

Impressions von Berlin

2011-12-30T05:05:00.001-08:00

What I wrote on the plane about the Berlinxperience:

We got there, pretty turbulent flight. My palms were sweaty as hell, but we landed in the middle of some moist darkness we’d soon discover would accompany us for the rest of the trip. The S-Bahn was great: some guy gave me the finger as he combed his hair. (My friend) Adolfo is amazing; he has so much to say, to offer, to teach…We spent a night honoring our San Antonio roots: drinking until 5am at a dark park overlooking squat, squareish apartment buildings. Walking by myself, walking with others, standing by the Wall, fazed and unfazed, making horrible coffee at Adolfo’s and walking to the Turkish bakery and getting breakfast for two euros. We kept getting lost, but only in the best of ways.

Unusual end of year post, but I’m glad this is how 2011 ended for me: ambiguously exciting, completely bewildering, and full of prospects for new tides. Hope you guys had a good one, too!

Refreshingly new old times

2011-12-21T15:23:00.001-08:00

Berlin still has those amazing old-timey Photomatons which we may have overdone during the three days we were there. Since then, my days have been all about bookselling and floor-walking in Santa hats. Busy, busy holiday times that I just don’t quite feel anymore.

But more about Berlin later.

More Tumblr faves.

2011-12-08T10:28:00.001-08:00

Click photos for Tumblr source!

This week: idolizing women and womanizing idols, unfocused glimpses of possible maladies, aching legs, and general laziness which keeps me from satisfying filling up short winter days.

White wine, mulled whine. And a fall mix.

2011-11-30T09:27:00.001-08:00

My favorite thing to do lately is to go out for long evening walks downtown. The Christmas market is in full swing, and the ridiculous Ferris wheel (WHICH NO ONE WILL EVER FORCE ME TO GO ON EVER AGAIN) greets me every time I wade through the crowd to score some delicious mulled wine. Also, I’ve been hanging out at my favorite café at night, trying to finish A Scanner Darkly over glasses of absurdly toxic white wine. It’s fun but a bit lonely. At least it beats hanging out in my room waiting for something cool to happen.

It's been a while since I’ve made a mix, so here you go! I was mostly into hip-hop and krautrock during the summer, but autumn always makes me dig right back into washed-out Asian pop, dark outsider folk, and clumsy Jesus music. And Iron and Wine, ugh. Good tunes to walk to as the days get shorter. Enjoyyyyy!

La vidente.

2011-11-28T04:36:00.001-08:00

Still have some of that Leonora Carrington juice fogging up my head.

Female wormhole exploration. Can you dig it?

2011-11-17T06:26:00.001-08:00

Source.

Loving Heather Benjamin’s irreverently gorgeous and bizarrely touching comics. Check out her Tumblr for a constant barrage of trippy dolls and psychedelic renderings of female genitalia!

Whatever demons may haunt you this time.

2011-11-16T04:02:00.001-08:00

What an emotionally charged week it’s been, and a really strange one at that. Some things that were taking off only a few days ago are now complete history. Stuff like boys and old demons and family matters and work and money and confidence issues.. my goodness, what a mouthful. Being 25 has never felt so real, and I mean this in a ridiculous made-for-TV kinda way. I bet everyone gets that feeling at some point when you’re single and confused and somewhat directionless, and you tune into some random show or romcom and completely relate regardless of the plot and contrivances. “OMG THAT IS SO MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, Y’ALL.”

Shudder.

I’m about to do the film-canon thing and go on a holiday by myself early next month. Get away from it all, maaan. No, seriously, I could really use one. Anyone have any suggestions for a dreamy European destination come December? I’m up for anything. Except France, of course. I’m never really up for France.

Icy days.

2011-11-06T11:31:00.001-08:00

Life so far has been lukewarm and (literally) stinky. Winter seems to bring out the bad breath smells everywhere I go. Maybe it’s me? Anyway, I’ve taken up a weekend job at a bookstore and this was my first full weekend over there. My legs ache and my brain is a bit numb, but I really love it over there. I mean, thank goodness I get to work with a bucketload of lovely, intelligent people to exchange witty banter with; even the customers are (generally) patient and kind. AND they have a sweet coffee stand which I’m sure will make winter days more than bearable. This means of course that I won’t be having any crazy weekends for a while, but I’m sure my liver will thank me later on.

Uh, is it Halloween already?

2011-10-28T03:41:00.001-07:00

I don’t really keep track of holidays anymore, but I guess it’s only appropriate that these are the things I’ve been into lately. Well, vaguely appropriate I suppose!

Witches’ Tales covers via MONSTER BRAINS. Ira Cohen’s Mylar Chamber series (especially the Jodorowsky portrait) via octobergallery.co.uk. Screencap from Herschell Gordon' Lewis’s Wizard of Gore.

Aquarium Drunkard

2011-10-23T05:31:00.001-07:00

I haven’t been taking my camera out that much lately. I brought it to a music festival yesterday but realized too late that I’d forgotten the battery. Seriously, how stupid can one be?

Anyway, a few weeks ago I went on a road trip to Germany with my folks. My brother and I snuck off to the local church/cemetery in search of freemasonry symbols. “The Illuminateh are everywhere",” he kept saying. Uh, sure. Anyway, it was a great trip and the cemetery was full of rather new graves, which was a bit disappointing. But then I had some pretty awesome Camembert croquettes with cranberry sauce and everything was swell.

I’ve been going out too much lately, but that’s never too interesting to talk about. So I’ll leave you with this cool mix for Aquarium Drunkard curated by nicholab over at ghostcapital. Great tunes, including The Kinks, Kris Kristofferson, The Pastels, Karen Dalton…perfect for sunny autumn days.

Oh, and we did find one All-Seeing Eye. Hanging above St. Joseph?

RECENT Tumblr faves.

2011-10-04T07:07:00.001-07:00

Click for linkkk.

Lately: banishing many a mask, seeking certain truths in cards and rediscovering innocence through youth in order to do things the right way for once.

Monsters.

2011-09-29T07:27:00.001-07:00

Uhh, yeah. I don’t know what that’s about, either.

I must have already blabbed about it, but I can’t get over being officially done with school. A diploma, me! Who would’ve thought. The real world has been okay thus far, but the lack of employment opportunities makes me think that this bubble of freedom will start oppressing me before I can begin to enjoy it. I’m already looking for ways to fill up my time: Dutch lessons, part-time job hunting, and going to several project meetings. Not at all young mula, baby, but it’ll do for now.

Oh, and did I mention I’ve been playing around with clay again? The medium is rather handy at helping me connect with my emotions, like, for real:

Dead Heroes: Alan Watts

2011-09-20T03:27:00.001-07:00

Via OpenCulture.

Alan Watts was such a badass. From alanwatts.com :

After teaching at the Academy of Asian Studies in San Francisco he became Dean, and began to give regular radio talks on KPFA, the Berkeley free radio station. In 1957 he published his bestselling Way of Zen, and in 1958 returned to Europe where he met with CG Jung. He was an early subject in pioneering psychedelic trials, and after recording two seasons of the public television series “Eastern Wisdom and Modern Life” traveled to Japan several times in the early sixties. By the late sixties he had become a counter culture celebrity, and traveled widely to speak at universities and growth centers across the US and Europe.

The above video is a sort of introduction to meditation; in it, Alan Watts explains why it’s necessary to shut your mind off, stop talking to yourself, and make a daily effort to apprehend reality in its purest form. Something I can’t manage to do myself, but will definitely be giving a try more often.

Untitled cause I can.

2011-09-16T03:05:00.001-07:00

Repeating the same old schtick, but summer is over and there is a lot to consider. Everything I want to say is in this mix.

P.S. I turned in my master’s thesis last week, and it was full of WIN : }

Dusty keyboards

2011-08-21T04:00:00.001-07:00

Pictures of King Tutankhamen’s tomb, published in the May 1923 issue of National Geographic. The whole set here. Dude was a bit of a hoarder, non? But how cool were his sandals?!

Umm, I just spent a whole month penning down a thesis. I want to say it was horrifying, but to be honest I was never overcome with the workload. Lazy is what lazy is. And stressing out about it helped me get through other stuff, and even though the whole thing resulted in a hormone-fueled acne breakout, things could be worse.

Stuff that helped me get through this month: Leonora Carrington’s “The Hearing Trumpet”, cigarettes mixed with Marianne candies, the company of friends, many many episodes of The Simpsons and Pretty Little Liars (an obvious combination, definitely), late night marihuana, and LOTS of Lil B. Too much Lil B, in fact.

Summer of rain, acne and debauchery. Hot stuff!

Weekly (monthly?) Tumblr faves

2011-07-30T03:20:00.001-07:00

Click for “source”.

These days: swift changes, grey weather, nonchalant melancholia and dreams about reform reform schools and all-girl residencies. Things could be better.

Mind Flowers

2011-07-20T04:49:00.001-07:00

Mandatory (but absolutely unnecessary) weather update: WHERE THE EFF DID THE SUMMER GO? Dude, we haven’t seen the sun in a week, and apparently it ain’t coming back for at least another week. The constant rain and wind are depressing, even more so with all the major droughts going around in other places of the world. I don’t think the weather gods class of 2011 ever heard of a little something called “moderation”. Blagh.

Here’s a little mix I made for these strange times. Uplifting music is truly necessary. Keep your chin up, girl.

Holidays, unfun, blahblahblah

2011-07-12T06:30:00.001-07:00

Another little treat from Spain. The weather is currently dreadful around these parts, dark and humid and completely uninviting. I’m glad there was plenty of sun down in Málaga, otherwise I can safely say this has been one of the most unsummery summers I’ve ever had.

Currently going through a few emotional ups and downs, but all in all I feel strangely calm about everything. I’m discovering the joy of being alone, going out by myself for ice cream or a beer and sitting down with a good book. And lots of cigarettes. Ugh.

Anyway, I wanted to post a few (more) pictures from Spain. If you’re my friend on Facebook, chances are you’ve already been bombarded with these, but what the hell. Picture overload time!

Malaga Bluez

2011-07-01T07:47:00.001-07:00

Just got back from a 10-day trip to Spain. Many, many photos to come, but let me just say two things:

1. Being internet-free for nearly two weeks is one of the best things that could happen to anyone. It was great to pass my time reading, drawing, and writing, or in any case focusing on ONE THING AT A TIME, instead of living under the permanent illusion of productivity while letting the multitasking devils take over my body.

2. I am now a firm believer in karma: during our trip, every single one of my friends suffered immensely from mosquito/general bug bites. Seeing as I’m used to being a perpetual target for all the unsightly critters of the world, I boarded the return plane with a big smirk, announcing that – for once! – I had not been bitten or stung a single time during the trip. Two days later, my arms/face/legs/chest are covered in what appear to be mosquito bites. Literally covered. So, yeah. Either it’s karma or the powers that be will just not let me be a smug jackass.

Reminiscing and morning radio shows

2011-06-13T07:14:00.001-07:00

We’ve been listening to lots of Venezuelan radio stations over the weekend, and I feel strangely homesick. Like I want to go home and at the same time I really really don’t. This is a picture of my room back in Venezuela, the room I grew up in and plastered with posters of Blink 182 and Green Day, as well as random photos that made up a gigantic mood board of the person I wanted to be (read: an ambitious non-smoking New Yorker with Converse sneakers surgically attached to my feet, writing articles for feminist websites and owning my own apartment before the age of 25). I guess your teenage walls can’t really predict your future. Especially when they have oversized pictures of Mark Hoppus in his swimming trunks.

I don’t sleep there anymore, not even when I go back, and someday those posters will go down and I might not even visit that room anymore. But it was mine for a while, or at least those walls were, which is more than I can say for anything in my present life.

But those naked baby photos are all totally me.

Devils

2011-06-06T11:00:00.001-07:00

Playing with heart-shaped crystals and my favorite model.

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders

2011-06-04T04:26:00.001-07:00

From IMDB:

A thief awakens Valerie, just 13, taking earrings left to her by her mother. By morning, the earrings have been returned, Valerie's first period has begun, and a troupe and a missionary have arrived in her Medieval town. The thief is Olrick; he reports to a cloaked constable who may also be the missionary. Attention to sexuality is everywhere: Valerie's grandmother's puritanical nature, the missionary's sermon to the town's virgins, the parish priest's attempt to seduce Valerie, and lusty adults at play. Valerie's nascent sexuality puts her in great danger. Can she navigate the passage from innocence to experience, a route teaming with vampires, a murderer, and an obscure family tree?

Perfect film for late spring. I giggled at the thought of this being Jodorowsky for teens, picturing him running off to Czech Republic and cashing in on the vampire trend! Jaroslava Schallerová is absolutely mesmerizing as Valerie, and the images of the Polecat’s grin gave me something to be scared of at night.

Love this cover by Broadcast of Valerie’s theme song. All the more touching now that Trish Keenan is gone.

Reverberation

2011-05-26T03:37:00.001-07:00

I picked up my old pens from their dusty lair and started drawing a little again. I honestly spend too much time procrastinating, especially now that I’m avoiding working on that thing people write in university that allows them to graduate. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.

Lately I’ve been spending lots of time with my mom. We cook together, go for walks in the morning, joke around and watch movies at night. We’ve developed a sturdy little routine and I quite enjoy it, although it feels like being in the waiting room at the airport with a really good book (if that makes any sense). I think she knows it, but it makes me both wistful and sad because I don’t know how she’ll really feel when I finally get on that plane.

PS. The curly side-ponytail action going on up there was my way of taming the huge freaking afro I woke up with after sleeping with foam curlers on all night. It was a bit of an adventure and, as you can see, C3PO was visibly flustered by the sudden change.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-05-10T01:08:00.001-07:00

This week: double visions upon returning, childhood memories unexplored, and the hazy sensation of burning legs beating away ancient demons.

Some kind of withdrawal

2011-05-04T05:06:00.001-07:00

No, not really. I mean, I haven’t been keeping up with anything anywhere, and I’m sorry for the neglect but it’s one of those times when you just ain’t feelin it. And I’m not right now: too many big pills to swallow in the real world at the moment.

In a nutshell: was in Finland, went back home, now I’m back in Finland, and I always feel unsure of my exact location when I wake up. Feels like a permanent hangover. I came back for an entry examination at a really nice school and I had a really good time throughout the whole thing. Glad to have gotten away from it all for a couple of days. Now I’m just going to kick back a little bit, hang out with the boyfriend, and above all NOT clean the kitchen.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-04-15T02:08:00.001-07:00

This week: giving up on epiphanies, analyzing foreign rock formations, coming up with ingenious lighting schemes and recording the remnants of uneasy dreams.

Also: hadn’t made a mix in ages! Here’s one chock-full of Jesus music. Kind of. Not exactly of the church choir variety, although in retrospect that might have been nice!

Today, two years ago

2011-04-11T02:04:00.001-07:00

Hanging out in Antwerp with my friend Harold, wearing lots of eyeliner, new Doc Martens and my first ever trench coat. All things that I still do and wear, in a slightly more worn and faded manner.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-03-29T09:12:00.001-07:00

Click for “source” !

This week: accepting your partner in crime, taking time to gaze into one’s inner mirror, learning that beds are not made of roses and that dreams are never as sweet as they seem.

Another place to go

2011-03-25T07:19:00.001-07:00

My room is a complete mess, a result my chaotic handling of the past week or so. I’m going to Finland until mid-April, which may or may not be a bad call seeing the amount of school work I have for the next couple of months. Also, I got a haircut last week. Wahwah, I hate it, wahwah.

Anyway, enough bitching. Here’s a live clip of the best band I’ve seen in years: Kawaguchi Masami’s New Rock Syndicate! Give them your love!

And speaking of giving others love, here’s a cool way to pitch in and help people in Japan: a compilation dedicated to the victims and survivors of the tragedy. 15$ for over sixty tracks of great music with tons of heart.

Dead Heroes: Laurie Bird

2011-03-21T04:59:00.001-07:00

Source 1, 2, 3.

From IMDB:

Laurie Bird was a cute and charming actress who appeared in only three pictures during her regrettably short-lived career. Bird was born on September 26, 1953 in Long Island, New York. Laurie was working as a model when she was chosen by director Monte Hellman from nearly 500 women to portray the Girl in "Two-Lane Blacktop." Bird gave a fine and impressively natural performance in her film debut as the chatty and rootless hippie wanderer the Girl in Hellman's extraordinary road movie masterpiece. She was likewise excellent as Harry Dean Stanton's snippy young wife Dody Burke White in Hellman's bleakly fascinating character study "Cockfighter." Following her small role as Paul Simon's L.A. girlfriend in Woody Allen's "Annie Hall," Laurie quit acting altogether and became a photographer. Bird committed suicide in boyfriend Art Garfunkel's Manhattan penthouse at the tragically young age of 25 on June 15, 1979. Garfunkel dedicated his album "Scissors Cut" to Laurie. The album features a partial photograph of Laurie Bird on its back cover.

She was so understatedly cool and breezy. Like a little kid, forever.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-03-18T05:36:00.001-07:00

This week, it’s about dying idols, bedroom shrines, braids I can no longer do, the ultimate tragedy of sunken homes and the ghosts we never stop fearing.

Madrid.

2011-03-13T04:25:00.001-07:00

Took off to Madrid for a few days to visit a couple of my oldest friends who’ve just started studying there. Lots of stuff to do, like visiting plenty of museums, going to huge street markets, eating ham croquettes, hanging out at Parque del Retiro and the botanical gardens, and having a yummy time in general. Except for this one banana pizza I ate. That was just way weird.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-02-27T05:41:00.001-08:00

(Click images for source!)

This week: haunting dreams, mountains of hair/prayers, and finishing Un tal Lucas by Julio Cortázar.

Looking down that road

2011-02-22T03:53:00.001-08:00

I think the winter is finally dying down a bit, which is both awesome and stressful. This is the last weekend of the festival I’m interning at, and the only thing I regret is not having been a bigger part of it (or at least not having taken enough pictures!). Maybe after that there will be much more of me to go around, but I have to do some serious work for my thesis and it’s seriously freaking me out.

Anyway, on my way out to hit the museum with Jeshee, and I’ll take my camera along for once. It’s a sunny day today, and quite possibly the only one this week, so take advantage of it I must!

Allison Schulnik

2011-02-19T02:32:00.001-08:00

L.A-based artist Allison Schulnik does it all, painting, drawing, sculpture, pottery, cooking (wonder what that’s like!), animation, dancing…I’m always fascinated with pluridisciplinary artists, especially the ones who bring life into each medium in very particular ways. Her work reminds me a lot of Belgian artist James Ensor with all the sad clowning and thick, pasty clumps of color, as well as Bruce Bickford the way that the shapes and forms of her characters seem to be constantly morphing and melting into each other. And since I’m a sucker for all things stop-motion and claynimation, I seriously urge everyone to check out her film work!

All images from allisonschulnik.com.

Weekly Tumblr faves

2011-02-15T03:51:00.001-08:00

(Click images for “source”)

This week: battling inner demons and waiting for my mythical ride back into the clouds.

Feet in the air, head on the ground

2011-02-13T05:22:00.001-08:00

Photo by Jeshee.

Working alongside the Offscreen Film Festival team. Have not had much time to procrastinate. Except for going to the grocery store and trying on kiddie sunglasses. Wah.

Silent pyramids.

2011-02-03T12:05:00.001-08:00

Cairo, about a century ago.

When the fall is all that’s left

2011-01-24T13:14:00.001-08:00

Ignatz video that Sami shot during his trip here. He drew his inspiration from the Down By Law trailer, and submitted our friend Hendrik to the incredible torture of dragging Bram around for probably a hundred takes. He also got me, my brother, Jeshee, and a few others to play the dead people in the bag WHO YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE OUT AT THE END. It.was.cold.man. Good thing the video’s awesome, otherwise he’d have to sleep on the floor next time he comes around!

When this year started:

2011-01-21T14:22:00.001-08:00

She treats me bad, but I still need her.

2011-01-17T00:47:00.001-08:00

Gosh, it’s been suuuper busy for me lately. My boyfriend came around for New Year’s and stayed almost three weeks! And my dear friend Jeshee arrived last week, and she’ll room with me until mid-March! We’ve been doing lots of shopping, sight-seeing, gabbing, etc, so I’m sure there will be lots to tell in the coming weeks.

Right now I’m super beat. I walked my boyfriend to the train station really early this morning, and I have a feeling it will be a long day with lots of stuff to do for school and for my internship. Anyway, now that Sami’s gone, I guess I’ll have a bit more time on my hands.

At least I have my furry cape, which is almost the same thing.

Sigh. Cue my sad song:

Suomee.

2011-01-10T10:33:00.001-08:00

It’s been a while, Finland!

Someone in my dictionary’s up to no good

2011-01-09T04:26:00.001-08:00

I’ve been a longtime fan of Shelby Di Marco’s work. Her collages take on many shapes and forms, always gritty yet ethereal, raw yet calculated. I love it how she draws most of her subjects from nature and twists them them around non-figurative elements, coming up with seemingly simple landscapes that always generate a feeling of awestruck admiration within me. Follow her in her many adventures, here, here, and here.

Source: Banshee Beat

Resolve

2011-01-01T13:34:00.001-08:00

I hadn’t taken much time to figure out what my New Year’s resolutions would be, until I realized that I’d already given the subject some thought before. It’s really important for me to get my desperate consumer antics under control; to quote the always awesome Jess: “I don't need anything that's new. I could just wear the clothes I have for the rest of my life. Of course, I don't want to do that, but there are ways around it”. I hate feeling like modern life somehow conditions us into believing that it’s normal to replace our wardrobe every two months; even though I get the itch myself, I always end up feeling like a jerk after the excitement of a new garment wears out and it’s just another piece of cloth in my closet that I can’t fathom wearing without feeling outdated. It would be great to be more creative with what I already own, and be more efficient with it and stop squandering my money on things that take up all my space and give me nothing back.

Moving on, some of my other New Year’s resolutions would be :

- Getting my driver’s license (I was SO close last year)

- Figuring out a way to obtain a steady income. I’ll be 25 next year, darnit.

- Fill up a sketchbook (this year has been the least prolific for me, sketch-wise; I think the previous year I’d succeeded in fulfilling this very resolution, and I took a 365 day break, grrr)

- Reading 50 books (this one is going to be nearly impossible, but now that I’m partaking in the TFS book challenge I have a social obligation to at least pretend to make it!!)

I also hope that I can learn to be good to the people around me, for 2010 wouldn’t have been anything without my wonderful friends, family and boyfriend to make me giggle every day. So cheers to them! And I wish you all the very best for 2011!

12 links of Christmas.

2010-12-25T05:52:00.001-08:00

1. Maya Deren’s Meshes of the Afternoon : Can’t believe I’d never seen this before; blown away is an understatement!

2. Masters of Darkness: Alesteir Crowley - The Wickedest Man in the World: Awesome and unintentionally funny documentary about the eternally eningmatic Alesteir Crowley, man of magic and terror.

3. VNFOLD: Currently my favorite online mag, awesome features and layout!

4. The Sixth Station - Deep Night (1982): Amazing album, not a single weak song on it and the sad Neil Young vibes are hard to resist.

5. Kitty Radio: Retarded, funny, youthful. Everything a Tumblr should be.

6. Pleated skirts made easy: Dream come true!

7. Autochromes from the George Eastman House: Already featured this set, but this set is beyond gorgeous.

8. A syllabus and book list for novice students of science fiction literature: Because I want to learn, dammit!

9. Buttermilk pancakes!: BEST RECIPE AND TIPS AROUND.

10. Carly Waito’s blog: The lovely and über talented Miss Waito shares her musings and projects.

11. Allison Scarpulla’s photos: CLICK. JUST DO IT.

12. Bob Smith – The Visit (1970): Most played album this year for me. Obscure and intricate psychedelia. “Can You Jump Rope might be my favorite song ever (well, no, but it’s definitely up there).

Happy holidays, friends!!

Five golden rings.

2010-12-22T04:50:00.001-08:00

It’s really strange to call the shots all on your own. Like, am I on holiday right now or what?

Weekends

2010-12-20T03:26:00.001-08:00

A lot of going out, snow, lipstick, fur coats, family, sleep, movies, slacking, dancing, and giggling. And, thankfully, a shortage of beer, eyeliner, cigarettes, spending, aching, and complaining.

Three things.

2010-12-18T05:50:00.001-08:00

1. Picking out Christmas/New Year’s Eve candidates.

2. Making “holiday” mixes.

3. Denouncing the loneliness of tiny dogs.

Early Christmas.

2010-12-14T14:00:00.001-08:00

I got the winter issue of Monki Magazine today, which was definitely welcome in these busy times of mine! While I find the previous issue to be much nicer (mostly because of that one ed) this issue had its moments as well. Namely the “Portrait of a Girl” feature, which showcases a handful of classy Hong Kong ladies (and a devilish bulldog!) talking about their nightmares, talents and superstitions. And, man, I do like the new winter items a lot: desert boots, sheer polka dot skirts and fuzzy cardigans that would channel my inner Harajuku goth. I’m sure I said it once, but lemme say it again: even though I feel too old for this whole cute little girl aesthetic they have going, I still wish with all my heart that they’d open up a Monki store in Belgium. Or at least in Tampere, Finland, for when I move there :}

Clues.

2010-12-09T08:26:00.001-08:00

Funny thing happened today. I got a letter in the mailbox which was stamped from here in Belgium. I first assumed it was some charity’s Christmas card, but I was shocked to find instead a photo I recall giving to a friend from Venezuela about four summers ago. No note whatsoever, and obviously no return address ; the content of the photo itself is irrelevant, as it shows a group photo with people I barely know myself. I’m not really sure what to make of it, and part of me wants to leave it at that and not ask anyone about it directly. I mean, it’s not like I get anonymous letters in the mail every day. I find the whole deal kind of strange yet somewhat exciting. As long as it stays that way and doesn’t get creepy, it’s something to talk about for sure.

Take my chances now, and get home before the snowfall.

2010-12-08T03:51:00.001-08:00

Source.

My favorite picture of Anastasia, whose tragic story I strangely find myself drawn to on lonely nights.

Anyway, a snowy mix, kind of.

Hard to be a god.

2010-12-04T07:09:00.001-08:00

Stills from the German/USSR film Es ist nicht leicht ein Gott zu sein (Hard to Be a God). The film deals with a group of historians from the future studying a sister planet where its (human?) inhabitants are living in a Medieval-like period full of passion, fear and warfare, none of which exist in our future Earth anymore. I found it to be rather beautifully shot at times, although most will probably remember this movie for the cheap wigs and gaudy set design. And Pierre Clementi at his sexiest, of course (see below! wink). Oh, and the cameo by Werner Herzog! And the Hannah Metz doppelganger! And the fact that although the whole film is in German, almost none of the actors are actually German-speakers! I recommend watching this one on a rainy day when your faith in humanity is nil: trust me, interesting thoughts will ensue!

On my house I’ve got no shackles.

2010-12-02T06:51:00.001-08:00

Dreadfully absent here, I know. It started snowing here early this week and I’ve been so swamped with school that I’ve had no excuse to go out and do something exciting. I can tell you now, though, the snow is not exciting for me. Urgh.

Here is a picture of my new haircut. As you can tell, I’ve put a 3d effect on both my pictures (probably because I’ve been reading the new issue of Dazed & Confused in my spare time), so if you want to get a better look at the bags under my eyes and weary wrinkles over my tired-ass face, you know what to do!

Comfortably fuzzy.

2010-11-25T10:06:00.001-08:00

I love these beautiful sweater bunnies that Sonja Ahlers is currently working on. Not only are they adorable, but I enjoy the fact that they each bunny flaunts a personality of its own, and this despite their shared squint! Sonja teamed up with the amazing Carly Waito to stage this sweet photoshoot of which you can see more on both their blogs, and I believe the photos (as well as the bunnies) will be up for sale on Etsy soon. So you better keep your eyes peeled!

In the meantime, here’s a few more photos via Sonja’s and Carly’s blogs. Is this the cutest nursery ever or what?

I mean, seriously.

Blunt trauma.

2010-11-21T13:09:00.001-08:00

I often wonder why we have to see the things we see.

But in the midst of all the madness:

2010-11-19T07:56:00.001-08:00

Stuff that’s gone on for the last week or so:

- I visibly can’t be bothered to tidy up my room these days (the side-eye says it all).

- Been trying to frequent the school library to pep myself up for my thesis. Part of me is all like this and the other part of me is getting excited about finally getting my hands dirty with it. Enfin, mgh.

- Started watching Mad Men. For the last two years people have been trying to get me into it and I’ve been pretty much “meh” towards it, but now it’s become routine for me to watch a couple of episodes before bed. I could call it comfort food in a way: smoking and drinking by proxy!

- Internship is going well, I guess. Is it wrong for me to feel a bit intimidated about being the only girl there? Hmm.

- I found a Yashica MF-1 at a flea market in Finland. I’m totally stoked but I’m having trouble using it, egh. Disappointed!

- Cut my hair today. No pictures yet and I miss my old hair a little bit. But just a little bit. Anyway, I was going for something like this (but with Spock bangs). I think I like it!

- I was ecstatic about something today: discovering I still love this song and especially this video.

Oh, forgotten youth. Growing up has made me such a cynic!

Groan.

2010-11-14T11:47:00.001-08:00

Been back in Belgium for two days, and it’s been raining non-stop the whole time. Yay? I love not being able to leave my house for the weekend?

Here’s a mix to get over those rainy day blues. Sigh.

Next time, it will be just as nice.

2010-11-10T11:33:00.001-08:00

But I don’t want to live in the future yet. The present is still good.

Going back home on Friday.

Postcards from Finland!

2010-11-08T06:21:00.001-08:00

Seriously, it’s how I have lo look at things in order to realize that it’s FALL and yet it’s SNOWING here. Talk about exotic.

In any case, here is a quick post showcasing last week’s “big” project: my Darth Vader jack o’ lantern! I hadn’t made one since I was little and although it isn’t perfect, I thought it was pretty funny, despite the perpetual side-eye he threw me all weekend long. Thank goodness he’s in the trash now.

Bet he never saw that coming.

Also, the initial reason I bought a pumpkin was so I could make some nice, spicy pumpkin cupcakes. Alas, I was not aware that jack o’ lantern pumpkins are basically hard and fleshless (rookie mistake, fo sho) and that it’s actually impossible to find canned pumpkin puree in Finland (but I do hope someone proves me wrong!). I ended up making these carrot cupcakes, although I didn’t have half the ingredients so I had to do some major improvising (ex. replacing the crushed pineapple with some homemade apple jam, walnuts with crushed cocoa beans, etc).

They’re pretty good. And rather pretty, I suppose! And you get the added health bonus of those disgusting cocoa beans my boyfriend and I just can’t seem to get rid of!

Pinning away.

2010-11-04T00:09:00.001-07:00

Click images to see the boards!

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I’m really getting into Pinterest these days! It’s a pretty neat way for lazy people like me to keep track of the pretty/coo/funny things the Internet has to offer while simultaneously making moodboards (whatever the eff that means) out of them. If you have an account, don’t hesitate to friend me, and if you want one I still have a few invites there somewhere!

Spreading seeds in my gardens.

2010-10-29T07:18:00.001-07:00

To be quite honest, and although I don’t like oversharing, it has not been a good couple of weeks for me. What is it about reaching your mid-twenties, huh? Everything you’ve known until now collapses before your eyes, and, although you’re forced to, it’s too scary to look ahead and realize what you really are made of. How does one even begin to understand what the past has done for the future? How is it all not a waste?

Also, I’m very broke and very behind on some school things, or maybe I’m just giving myself a hard time. I’ve decided two things, that in truth should be New Year’s resolutions but that I should apply myself to right away:

- Limit high-street shopping to a single bimonthly venture, except for strict necessities such as socks and undies. Seriously, guys, it’s kinda hard.

- Focus on a particular project every week, whether it be a painting or a sketch, a photo-shoot or a figurine. Be as prolific as possible in the time I have, the important thing being that I learn what it means to finish what you start.

Anyway, these are things I’ve been contemplating recently. Besides my lovely feathered cape, of course.

It’s been so quiet.

2010-10-24T14:58:00.001-07:00

Thank goodness Monday is coming back! And much to do with it!

PS: Does anyone have a Pinterest account? I do! And quite lonely and lost, I might add! If anyone wants an invite I still have a few lying around!

Did you see anything beautiful out there?

2010-10-20T06:38:00.001-07:00

I’ve gone a bit missing these last coupla weeks, but my boyfriend was visiting, you see, and I was obviously too busy making a nest in his beard to be on the internet and stuff. But now he’s gone and it’s pretty dark and rainy out there, and all I can think of is this movie we saw recently called Air Doll. It’s not amazing or anything, no, but somehow the depiction of city life as seen through new, untarnished eyes rung true to me. How frail and small one feels, how enchanting and dazzling and mystifying it can seem, how scary and deceitful and lonely it can all become. I felt like I was watching Amélie Poulain’s destiny go terribly awry, all the sweet and uplifting things waved at you like some delicious candy which is then cruelly snatched from your hands.

Here I leave you with some screencaps. I thought that actress was so cute, with eyes so big and shiny you could easily believe she was truly born a plastic doll. Also, I made a mix with the movie in mind (because the soundtrack kinda sucked). Enjoy!

Discovering the people we know we were.

2010-10-10T06:51:00.001-07:00

Diego Rivera. Source.

Currently reading this. I’m really behind on Latin American art and I’m rather excited to discover everything I’ve missed out on. I wish I could go to Mexico, and now I regret not having gone as a child when we lived in Austin and my mom really wanted to visit and I said no because I could only imagine tortillas and piñatas and, yes, I was a bit resentful of having been automatically put in countless Mexican activities although I endlessly repeated that Venezuela isn’t part of Mexico.

Whatever. Stupid me. Here’s a new (and totally unrelated) mix for ya: CLICK!

From the doubles factory.

2010-10-04T02:23:00.001-07:00

Old rooms and old angst.

Like breathing underwater.

2010-09-29T04:31:00.001-07:00

How I feel about everything that’s coming up right now. I get really tired of wading. But good thing there’s moments like these, where my boyfriend will play me music while I show off my new feathered capelet. Better to be a half-wit bird than a gill-less fish, I say!

Roaming the halls all year, making me sick

2010-09-22T13:05:00.001-07:00

Monday was back to school for me, and I’ve somehow taken it upon myself to worry about not working hard enough, and therefore not working hard enough. I guess I’m not that used to it, really, and I never know where to start. I’ll give myself an ulcer at this rate. Won’t bother sharing the details of, you know, all that thesis and internship crap. Unless, of course, something really cool happens.

But at least it’s my last year there! AND I learned the fishtail braid! Lots to be happy about!

Making up our own little fun place.

2010-09-18T15:07:00.001-07:00

Scans of my favorite parts of Monki magazine. What a delightful little surprise to find it waiting in my mailbox! Like many others, when I signed up for the magazine a few months ago I thought I’d never actually see it in the flesh. But they’re really making it happen, four issues a year with some surprisingly lovely photos (the above editorial blew me away) and the usual Monki quirks (which are kind of cute for the sake of being cute, if that makes sense). Sure, I think I’m too old for this and some of the gimmicks are over-the-top and silly and almost sickeningly sweet, but hey! I’m kind of a sucker for it all, and I do honestly believe the people over at Monki are onto much more interesting things than they’re willing to let on right now!

Towards darkness.

2010-09-16T14:35:00.001-07:00

My boyfriend just released this video he made for one of the many hidden gems on his label: the beautiful and wondrously impetuous Islaja’s (néée Merja Kokkonen) new single “Pymeyttä kohti”. Her fourth album, "Keraaminen Pää is full haunting melodies and calculated beats which are sometimes simple and sometimes shocking in nature. I guess it’s a must-hear, and I’m not very good at describing music unfortunately (and I am terribly tired, as always)! But do watch the video, which is absolutely stunning, and check out Islaja’s music here and here!

(Oh, and the photos were taken by me, and you can see rest of the [small] set on my flickr!)

Wistful and apprehensive.

2010-09-14T14:32:00.001-07:00

Photo source.

My brother took my camera cable with him to Spain, so I haven’t been in the mood to take photos knowing I can’t upload them. Instead, while waiting for school to start again, I’ve made this mix that is supposed to encapsulate this WHOLE summer in 8 tracks! I must admit, I haven’t discovered much “new” music this year, let alone listen to any of it, so I cheated and put in some of my personal favorite summer hits. You’ll find crazy old Franco Battiato in both his electronic shire music phase as well as the weirdo hodge-podge mess he came up with in the 80’s, plus quite a few Krautrock faves (inspired by this book), and some of the more upbeat oldies that were on repeat on Radio Asia (which listened to a LOT while cooking and doing other shenanigans in the kitchen, a.k.a my Finnish office).

So have a listen!

P.S. How does everyone do to keep up with fashion week? A few years ago I decided it was too much work to stay up to date with all the collections, which resulted in me abandoning interest in fashion week, which resulted in me feeling sad for being out of the loop and not understanding what’s gone on in the last 3 years. Maybe the fact that it felt like too much work means that I wasn’t that interested to begin with? Still…

Over is the summer.

2010-09-09T05:45:00.001-07:00

Or at least my summer vacation is! I got back from Finland a couple of days ago and, well, let’s just say it’s been interesting: recent developments include my brother trying to leave to Spain, but realizing at the airport that he forgot his passport (twice!), as well as my unexpected reunion with a girl from my first and only summer camp, 15 years later and in the most random of countries.

But anyway, this summer was the best and one of the nicest things that happened was going to our friends’ Laura and Antti’s house out in the Finnish countryside. Their home is beautiful and warm, and they live sandwiched between the lake and the beach, with stretches of fields and forests in between. I got to hang out a lot with their cat Sirkku and their little boy Nuutti, and even though I was bit by a bunch of (moose?) flies, I was completely bowled over by the quiet charm of their daily lives, as well as by the amount of fruit and vegetables they grow! Also, Laura and Antti make fantastic music, you can check it out here and here, and if you’re lucky you might catch them on tour this year!

Two years.

2010-09-03T08:07:00.001-07:00

I never thought it was possible to love someone so much.

World in color.

2010-08-29T01:52:00.001-07:00

Hard not to get excited about these auto chromes. Wish I could do these for real!

Source.

Me twice

2010-08-27T02:50:00.001-07:00

Where one of the me’s looks like she hasn’t slept in years. Why so glum?

Old notebooks and undying emotion.

2010-08-23T05:26:00.001-07:00

I remember when small notebooks were a fixture in all my bags and purses and coat pockets. Gluing bugs till I was 10, writing till was 17, drawing till I was 22, and maybe now bookeeping until my retirement. It was all about keeping thoughts and ideas and quite obviously people close to me, and knowing that they would go everywhere I went. I don’t have small notebooks anymore; I don’t need that weight on me these days. But it’s always comforting, isn’t it? Maybe someday I’ll need one of them again, along with the weight and solace they bring with them.

What and who do you keep in your notebooks?

It couldn’t have been any sunnier

2010-08-19T03:16:00.001-07:00

You KNOW this was one of the main highlights at Flow Festival for me. I mean, a Yoda backpack? Can you imagine all the possibilities? ALL THE IMPLICATIONS? Why didn’t I know of this before?!?!

But all in all I had a great time. Sami and I stayed at the nicest apartment and had lovely mornings to precede the fun times. I likes M.I.A quite a bit, although it’s strange for me to see artists play in such huge venues; when your visibility is limited to one of those big screens, it feels more like you’re watching TV than a live gig. Also, Omar Souleyman and Konono no1 were fantastic, and I had quite a few pleasant surprises which I’m too tired to recount. The weekend was also filled with good food (mmm, Russian food) and overpriced beer (7 euros? Damn).

Funny fact: I’d conveniently forgotten my suitcase back home, so I had to shop for new clothes in Helsinki. It’s not everyday you have a valid excuse for a new wardrobe! I’m not proud of this, though! And it was so hot and humid all weekend that I felt I was being punished for my absentimindedness! I’m glad my friend Aino was with me to supervise the spazzy shopping trip that ensued! But you know festivals are all about the people, the good people and the good times that roll with them, and there were many!

(all pictures by Sami, as I was too lazy to use anything but my ratty Lomo and God knows when I’ll develop those!)

Festivals and mixtapes

2010-08-13T03:12:00.001-07:00

Sharing this pic because how exciting is it to be posing like a dweeb only to discover that the picture was being taken to present me with a birthday gift? My birthday isn’t until Monday, but my boyfriend went ahead and got me a freaking PSP! So exciting! Almost like having a smartphone, but with Little Big Planet included, ha.

So anyway, I’m off to Flow Festival until Monday! My first festival ever and I’m super excited because there’ll be bands I actually want to see! Omar Souleyman, Konono n°1, M.I.A and a bunch of badass Finnish acts that I’m psyched to catch in one arena! Also, I created a profile on 8tracks (thanks to the lovely Hannah!) and I made a special mix in honor of FlowFest! So here, guys! Listen and enjoy!

Marie-Flower Charlesworth.

2010-08-10T02:54:00.001-07:00

Photos by Marie-Fleur Charlesworth, via Feaverish Photography.

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band.

2010-08-04T03:23:00.001-07:00

I re-watched Almost Famous the other night after almost 10 years, and was excited to learn that 24 year-old me finds it as awesome (if not more so) than 14 year-old me. You know that sense of shame and terror when you’re about to revisit the movies that marked your teenage years, knowing that they’ll be most likely filled with cringe-worthy phrases and corny set-ups that, in retrospect, make you remember how awful things looked and felt back in the day? Luckily, and possibly singularly, this was not the case. Not only did I safeguard the memory of a funny, aloof, heart-warming movie, there were indeed some added bonuses from watching it nearly 10 years on:

- I thought Penny Lane was a character my cynical, eye-rolling adult self would abhor, yet I was pleased to discover that I still like her, still think she’s cool, and that I even feel sympathy when her inevitable crash-landing ensues. Also, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU, KATE HUDSON? YOU USED TO BE SO CUTE.

- 70’s fashion was not really something 14 year-old me appreciated. Huh.

- The music, and the sentiment on music, and not scoffing at all the somewhat higher-than-thou statements on music and its state/future. Also, the soundtrack was pretty killer. My highlights:

Picture sources: 1, 2.

On that first week.

2010-07-31T07:18:00.001-07:00

I’m enjoying myself as much as always now that Finland has become my ultimate summer destination. A few things worth noting:

- My daytrip to Helsinki was marked by a lot of walking and a rather decent shopping experience, in which I thankfully didn’t let the sales blind me too much (especially over at Monki, seeing as it was my much-anticipated first time there and I had to refrain myself from going crazy with la credit card).

- Anyone who’s ever seen Pushing Daisies might have foamed a bit at the mouth upon seeing those pear-and-Gruyère pies that Charlotte lovingly sent her cheese-loving aunts on a regular basis. Well, it seems I have mastered the deed! Unfortunately, no pictures: pie really flies, y’know.

- My boyfriend and I have been tidying up the apartment a bit, trying to steer it away from bachelor’s pad direction it inevitably takes when I’m not around. I finally won me some closet space and now I’m looking forward to buying/making nice decorations for the walls. As for my boyfriend, he finally fixed up his workroom, where he now makes beautiful haunting music and plays Starcraft for hours.

- I don’t really know what else we’ve done, but somehow that feels like a good thing.

I do hope I get some more time at the lake, though.

Always a bit on the flakey side.

2010-07-27T05:55:00.001-07:00

In less than a week, I went from being caught under the tropical rainstorms of my homeland to basking in the dry heat of the Great North. I think my Venezuela-Belgium-Finland voyage has left me a bit speechless, my only wish being to indulge in some serious couch time with my favorite couch potato. All of this to say that I’m laaaaaazy, a lazy-ass blogger and a lazy-ass girlfriend, trailing around some lazy-ass projects and a big, lazy ass which no amount of coffee can shake up.

I have a lot I need to get around to doing. But, hey. All in all, this summer is pretty fantastic so far.

"I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?"

2010-07-20T04:26:00.001-07:00

This looks more than promising.

Yes, she did.

2010-07-14T09:16:00.001-07:00

Julia Margaret Cameron, photos from Getty.

Don’t you miss your girlfriends and your knights? I do, at least some of them. Very much so.

Last night was a really good night!

2010-07-12T15:02:00.001-07:00

Images via Jezebel.

First time I care about anything sports related!

(Even though people can be really annoying and insane and I don’t understand how people can jam a two lane road to celebrate and generally make a super huge useless fuss and get drunk on top of cars and block the entrance to the gas station when we’ve been in a traffic jam for THREE HOURS AGHHHHHHH).

Felicitaciones, chicos!

This is where we started.

2010-07-09T11:42:00.001-07:00

Being back home always brings along this routine of self-discovery and apprehension, along with the feeling that I won’t be the same upon returning. Why is it so easy to lose touch with all of this, with who you were born as and grew up to become? It’s quite strange knowing that my life won’t be built around these parts, surrounded by these people who I will always recognize but struggle seeing myself reflected in. All I lived as a child and as a teenager is here, so far away from me that when I revisit these places I can’t help becoming one again.

I’m glad I’ve grown up here and I’m glad I’ve gone away. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t care as much as I do about this place.

I have a flu at the moment and I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything that’s not absolutely brain-numbing. I’ve been playing around with squirrels, though.

Memories.

2010-07-02T08:04:00.001-07:00

Fernand Khnopff. Sources 1 + 2, 3.

Went to a Belgian Symbolism exhibition before leaving. My eyes have not yet bounced back from their peaceful bliss.

Holland and a few more stories.

2010-06-26T02:38:00.001-07:00

Like I probably mentioned, I went to Holland for a few days to hang out by the lake and catch a bit of sun to toast my nose. It was all about bonfires, swimming, and spotting cute animals, as well as having the first (and worst-planned) barbeque of the decade! Oh, and Burger King. Lots of Burger King.

It was pretty awesome, although some minor mishaps included my boyfriend dropping his iPhone in the lake (but he did manage to save it in the end! hooray!) as well as ending up sunburned after getting his butt kicked twice at ping-pong. The fact that even he came back smiling and relaxed makes up for having to get slathered in aloe vera every two hours! At least it does for me, haha.

Tomorrow I’m flying back home to Venezuela for three weeks. After that, it’s Finland and hopefully a small voyage into either Scandinavia or the Baltic states. We’ll see. Anyway, this summer is looking exciting and overwhelming, and the only whining I hear right now is coming from my bank account. And my stomach, of course, after the imminent Burger King overload (because there’s lots of them in Venezuela, too)!

Here’s a few more pictures from Holland, the polaroidy ones courtesy of my boyfriend’s resuscitated iPhone!

Holiday fun

2010-06-20T11:41:00.001-07:00

Yay! But to be honest, I finished exams about a week ago, and it’s been hazy and crazy ever since. Well, more hazy than crazy, to be honest! But what I’ve done is basically hang out with my boyfriend all day, go out drinking every nite, made sushi with friends and gone out to restaurants I’d never gone to before. At this rate, I’ll be broke with a pickled liver and fries on the side.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to a place called Lucky Lake over in Holland. I’m praying for sun and no rain, sausages and halloumi and nice cold beer on the grass along with those ugly-ass animal sculptures in front of what will be my caravan. Again: yay!

Shout out to my glaring friend Baite, who will undoubtedly bring the beats and the tunes for the rest of us lackeys!!

Oh, and photos by my furry little boyfriend! Let’s hope there will be many more to come!

About a week to go, in my marshmallow socks.

2010-06-06T01:32:00.001-07:00

This particular part of my room is a mess of old clothes (which I tell myself I’ll do something with), ugly pillows (which my mom has lovingly collected over the years, bless her) and ill-planned electrical configurations (which da Lord knows I have no idea what to do about). I' still have about a week and a half of exams to go and so far it’s gone surprisingly well, save for History of Books, a subject that caught me off guard with a panoply of complicated technicalities which obviously escaped me until I’d turned my paper in and wailed a long, screeching “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” in my head. Anyway, perhaps it didn’t go as badly as I think, but fact of the matter is that this whole deal has made me quieter and far less upbeat than I was at the beginning of the week when I scored an unexpected 17/20 in my Sociology of Art exposé (based on this awesome essay on asylum art by Anne Bowler).

Vacationz, people! That’s all I’m talking about, really!

From the study archives.

2010-05-30T05:49:00.001-07:00

It’s been one hell of a week. What battles have you won recently?

(photo via The Acid Sweat Lodge)

Something smells like fun and cheese!

2010-05-26T13:02:00.001-07:00

This is something like exactly a year ago, during this exact period, procrastinating like I am doing exactly now. I remember that day pretty well. It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago. Only today I have a different room and a different bed in a different house, and I realize a year is kind of a long time when you’re young and it’s only when you get old that years don’t feel like much of anything anymore.

It’s cool that I can still wear that skirt, though.

On identity (an mostly serious post)

2010-05-23T11:01:00.001-07:00

Yesterday at school, I had the great pleasure (ahem) of having yet another drawn-out discussion about national identity with one of my more hardcore left-wing friends. This dude, whose parents are from Morocco but who’s been raised in Belgium (and who, for the record, is very nice and smart and always brings up interesting points), could not for the life of him fathom the fact that neither my brother or I think that we’ll ever consider ourselves Belgian, let alone feel more Belgian than Venezuelan, even if we end up living here the rest of our lives. Through his discourse, I could sense he was somehow implying that me and my brother are perpetuating what he considers a communitarian attitude (WTF), and that we’re somehow shitting ourselves about our identity because there is no way that living in a country for so long will not make you feel like you’re more from said country than from where you were born.

While I do agree that it’s nearly impossible to live years and years in a certain place without somewhat assimilating the local culture and customs, I believe identity is something within you, something that is determined during your childhood and formative years and cannot be erased or exchanged by simply swapping countries. I think about this a lot when I see fellow Venezuelans moving to Spain, to the US and Germany, to places where national identity is present and strong (unlike Belgium, where national identity is diffuse at best). Some Venezuelans tend to see these cultures as more honorable and becoming than our turbulent “Third-World” roots, which they don’t hesitate to belittle (“Yeah, I was born in Venezuela and lived there until now, but my grandfather and Dad are Italian so therefore I’m actually European”). On the other side of the coin, people abroad don’t take your nationality seriously if you’re not wearing a poncho and a straw hat. To my leftist, “socially-conscious” acquaintances, the fact that I like art and fashion and don’t participate in their every rally against whatever social injustice they’re decrying makes me yet another inconsiderate bourgeois sheep. Politically speaking, I’m no extremist: I deplore the backwardness of the right, but I’m also extremely aware of the perils of the far left. It might be weak-spined of me, but I often have a very hard time positioning myself on controversial issues, precisely because I don’t like blindly adhering to whatever point of view that’s . But that’s a tale for another summer.

I see why it’s normal to think that I don’t consider myself more Venezuelan than anything else: I’ve lived abroad for a substantial part of my youth and probably won’t ever live in Venezuela again, I can’t for the life of me dance salsa or reggaeton, and I probably feel more comfortable expressing myself in English than in Spanish. And yeah, I know living elsewhere has changed me, and that essentially I’m as much of a foreigner back home as I am a foreigner abroad. But I could never define myself as anything other than Venezuelan. My parents have raised me in a Venezuelan home, with Venezuelan food and music and traditions, and whenever I see a fellow Venezuelan I can’t but want to reach out to them (which certainly doesn’t happen with Americans or Belgians). The affinity I feel for my compatriots is undeniable; it’s a bond that spawns from shared experience and love for our beautiful, amazing country, a country that is tragically disintegrating without us being able to do much other that watch and wait for the worst.

In today’s world, I think identity is a subject that’s becoming increasingly irrelevant. But I do hope that, no matter where I end up living, I won’t lose sight of where I’m truly from and of all the experiences that have made me who I am. And that I won’t be beyond teaching my future kiddies their fair share of Venezuelan songs and slang.

Oh, and since I did say this was a mostly serious post: on the subject of culture and identity (heehee) I rediscovered the amazing Face Transformer!

Afro-Caribbean and West-Asian me!

East-Asian and dude me! Yikes on that last one!

I’m super tired, it’s hard waking up at 7am.

2010-05-18T12:40:00.001-07:00

It certainly feels like cows are fluttering behind my eyelids. This is one of those moments when the fact that time is going by so fast simultaneously thrills (vacations! boyfriend! fun!) and terrifies (exams! so little time to study! no more vacations) little old me. And in short, I’m neglecting sleep in favor of King of the Hill & R. Crumb’s illustrated Book of Genesis, and health in favor of cigarettes and prosciutto & truffle oil pizza.

Don’t be surprised if next time you see me I’m an amorphous grey blob with sunken eyes and exposed nipples, calling you “sug’” and inserting the phrase “I’ll tell you what” at the end of every sentence.

Going blind is seeing less

2010-05-13T08:22:00.001-07:00

Here in Belgium there has been a sudden drop in temperatures which I don’t think anybody saw coming. I know, I know, all I seem to rant about is the weather, but honestly this year has given me so much to whine about! I mean, it’s mid-May and everybody’s going back to their winter coats! I think I’ve just been anticipating warm weather so anxiously that the weather gods decided to go ahead and have a laugh at my expense, making sure my radiator breaks down in the process and that there’s always a shortage of warm water in my bathroom. Gee, thanks a lot.

Anyway, lately I’ve been shamelessly excited about nail polish and photocopying jewelry. Maybe next I should try to cover my jewelry in nail polish before photocopying it? LOL NOT.

I need to get a hobby.

Sunday beats the cramps.

2010-05-09T12:29:00.001-07:00

I spent a pretty hazy weekend, hungover beyond recognition after a week immersed in schoolwork. I think I still have a lot to discover about middle grounds, but you know how great that first beer feels and then you just can’t stop and then you’ve slept until 4pm and yikes it’s Mother’s Day! But at least no cigarettes and no alcohol this weekend, and I’m keeping up with my driving lessons and whatnot, exciting!

But I am feeling tired and burnt-out, I have all these personal projects that are obviously not getting done by themselves, and yet all I can do is let the drool hang off my chin while I browse endlessly on Etsy (is it a crime that I’ve only just discovered it?)

Here is a Sunday tune for you, in hoping that summer won’t take thaaat long to come knocking at our doorsteps.

Week in review.

2010-05-05T13:38:00.001-07:00

A few highlights from what’s been an otherwise stressful week:

Pizza! Twice today! And a Claudia Kishi side-ponytail!!

Konono no 1 on Friday! So good! More Konono goodness here!

Hank Hill throwing my boyfriend the side-eye. Don’t ask me why, but he deserved it!

So not that much to tell right now, but I’ll take what I can get dammit! Exams season is just around the corner, so you know. I gotta make use of exclamation marks while I’m a it.

Help!!

Something snapped.

2010-04-29T13:30:00.001-07:00

I bought a ton of vintage Géo magazines from a charity shop. This means I have a lot of uncharted territories and undomesticated animals lounging about in my room, waiting to be jailed and pinned down together somehow. I won’t have much time for this though, with exams creeping around the corner and all. I also wish I had a bigger room with lots of air and light. I’d like to think it would make me a bit less lazy!

Anyway, video time! This is the video that got me into the MC5. I mean, just check out Wayne Kramer’s dancing! Howcoolisdat!

(but my favorite member will always be Fred “Sonic” Smith!)

Oh, shit.

2010-04-21T10:02:00.001-07:00

So as it turns out, the ash cloud coming from Eyjafjallajökull did end up lengthening my trip abroad. It’s one of those instances where I’m in complete awe that something this random has such a major impact on everyday life. I’m really one of the few lucky people for whom this ash cloud was sort of a good thing, seeing as it’s given me almost an extra week with ma beau and a fair excuse to skip out on school (although I don’t feel too great gloating about that, heh).

Anywho, I’ll soon be on a flight back to rainy old Belgium, which I hear is having a nice bout of prettyweather-itis. I’ll be pretty darn pissed off if it starts raining again, though. But what I’m getting really excited about is the well-grounded prospect of going back home to Venezuela for the summer. It’s funny how it goes all year round, how I’m super reluctant to plan a trip there knowing that my klutziness will make it hard for me to cross them lawless streets, that the inflation makes handling money a complete headtrip for me, that I worry about safety and stomach bugs and 10-hour flights and fret about not being able to speak Spanish properly, blahblah. And then I remember the warm sidewalks, the faded shirts and baseball caps, the bright green that’s really the only shade of green that plants know over there, the cracked roads and palm trees by the seaside, the mountains that don’t surround me anywhere anymore, the people whose faces should never be mistaken for any other anywhere else. It’s what I am and what I carry, what I should never lose sight of and never disconnect myself from.

Yeah. Whatever them ash clouds allow.

I’m happy about the sunny days, in spite of dust and ash clouds.

2010-04-16T07:02:00.001-07:00

I’ve been in Finland for the last week and a half or so and sadly my trip will soon come to an end. It’s always so nice to be here, the air is different the way it would be when you go on a holiday. I doubt the ash cloud will lengthen my stay, although I certainly wouldn’t mind if it did! Kind of.

My activities as of late have consisted mostly in flea market hopping, cooking and combing my boyfriend’s beard. And yes, I’ve been also keeping busy toiling around on the computer, mindlessly editing photos and making pointless GIFs.

Postcards from Paris

2010-04-08T02:06:00.001-07:00

Spring Break holidays are off to a promising start! Paris last weekend to kick off the Silvester Anfang II tour. Now I’m in Finland, and although there’s still a few patches of snow here and there, it’s not as cold as I thought it would be. However, yesterday in Helsinki this huge cloud of mist descended upon us and it got unbearably cold and fuzzy all of a sudden. You could smell the sea in the mist, though, of which I can’t complain.

On that note, Paris is a mess in the springtime. I thought we had it bad in Belgium, but hell. I had a great time.